We are moved.

During communion last Sunday, our pastor read aloud a quote from J. Oswald Sanders' book, Spiritual Discipleship: Principles of Following Christ for Every Believer, that really resonated with my heart in regards to what I am learning about the nature and character of this God that I claim to love and believe in:

“We are moved by the act of God. Omniscience holds no conference. Infinite authority leaves no room for compromise. Eternal love offers no explanations. The LORD expects to be trusted. He disturbs us at will. Human arrangements are disregarded, family ties ignored, business claims put aside. We are never asked if it is convenient.” -Samuel Chadwick

It's a tough pill to swallow - these attributes and characters of a God who would disturb us, a God who would disregard our plans, a God who wouldn't explain where or why the storm came and when it will end. But if we submit to and desire to believe in this God of the Bible - a God who knows all things, created all things, is in control of all things, holds all things together, works all things together for ultimate good - then we submit to One who must have higher conscience and greater knowledge than we do in all things. We cannot agree to His strength and power and yet esteem Him inferior to us in thought and deed.

Accepting that God's good plan for me included the loss of two of my babies is just plain hard, but I must trust His plan without wavering if I choose to believe in him. And I don't trust blindly, as if he is unpredictable and unknowable. I know exactly where He is headed with me - ultimate salvation, perfect restoration, complete perfection through the saving work of His Son Jesus Christ on the cross - I am headed for eternal glory! And the trials of this earthly journey will all one day be perfectly revealed and understood when He gives me new eyes and full understanding.