Alone.

Surely one of Satan's biggest lies to any women has to be that she is alone. I know I've certainly felt it through many of the twists and turns in my life. 

As the results of our survey continue to unfold, a few things have surfaced: 1) Every single issue on the survey has been earmarked by more than one person; yet - so fascinating - 2) The number of women who have felt alone in their struggle has remained fairly consistent at 70%.

So, even though - according to the results - not a single woman is alone in facing the particular issues she struggles with, 7 out of 10 women feel alone in facing that struggle. Amazing. And heartbreaking. 

As this journey continues to unfold for me, I am praying and praying that women begin to figure out how to walk this life hand in hand. That we are able to restore and experience community. That we are not only able to experience the freedom from confessing our own dark places within a safe environment, but we are also able to extend grace and forgiveness to those who would be vulnerable enough to open up with us, and that we would be guarded against the temptation to use our sister's confession as fuel for gossip and slander. 

I'm so humbled and yet also encouraged by how relevant this all seems to be. Thanks for your prayers and love!

Confessions.

You simply could not ever in a million years collect enough money from all the richest men and women in the world to pay me to go back to high school. End of discussion.

College, however, is a different story. My time in college was sweet, surrounded by God's beautiful creation, beginning the journey of life with the man I would one day marry, and rich with friendships with other like-minded, fun-loving, strong-spirited girls. Even though a few wise old souls spoke of it then, it was several years before I realized just how precious those girls were and would become to me over the years. Of all the things I am thankful for in these girls, certainly at the top of that list was the absolute freedom we gave each other to just be real. Ugly or pretty, messy or clean, broken or brand new...nothing was unacceptable except pretense. 

Shortly after college, I read a book called "Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster. There is a chapter called "Confession" which highlights the Christian discipline of Confession and scripturally supports why it is good for us to confess to one another and the grace, mercy, healing and freedom that comes through biblical confession. A few great quotes from the book:

"Confession is a difficult Discipline for us because we all too often view the believing community as a fellowship of saints before we see it as a fellowship of sinners. We feel that everyone else has advanced so far into holiness that we are isolated and alone in our sin. We cannot bear to reveal our failures and shortcomings to others. We imagine that we are the only ones who have not stepped on to the high road to heaven. Therefore, we hide ourselves from one another and live in veiled lies and hypocrisy."
"A man who confesses his sins in the presence of a brother knows that he is no longer alone with himself; he experiences the presence of God in the reality of the other person. As long as I am by myself in the confession of my sins everything remains in the dark, but in the presence of a brother the sin has to be brought into the light."

Over the years, I pointed several friends and acquaintances to this book, referencing the Confession chapter each time, talking about how it had - for the first time - illuminated to me the biblical need for confession, helping to flesh out its purpose and removing the false notions I had, primarily based on Hollywood's perception of Catholicism. And though I did not begin regularly practicing confession as a discipline, I did (and do still) consider myself a very real person and do not find it difficult for the most part to openly and honestly discuss my failures and sinfulness with others. And, over the years, I have many times found myself in the midst of "confessions" of sorts whereby God would use some part of my story to connect with and encourage someone else going through something similar. And by opening up and sharing my story, I too was encouraged that my struggles and difficulties (for example, most recently with my miscarriages) were not in vain - that God really is working out a great plan and purpose even in and through those things that do not make much sense to me.

Recently, a friend and I stumbled back into this, realizing that we had both secretly walked through a struggle, and as we found the freedom to discuss it with each other, I found healing and freedom and even courage. Which led us to wonder and discuss - how many women are struggling with things that they do not ever talk about? How many women feel as if they are the only ones struggling with a particular issue? What if we could bring together a group of women who were willing to anonymously confess their deep, dark secrets with the rest of the world, in hopes that through their confession, they would encounter a living God who went to the cross and died for their sin. Women who, through that confession, were able to find grace and mercy and freedom from the bondage of that hidden shame and darkness. Could these stories be the beginning of a movement of openness and honesty in the Church - and an opportunity for Believers to show that we are different not because we are without sin but because our sin has been paid for? Would that willingness to be vulnerable help us reach across the lines and join hands with millions of other women who are struggling in secret sin who think they are forever lost to the grace of a Holy God? Does the path to freedom and healing begin in something as simple (and yet pride-challenging) as confession?

So, our eventual book project will be to bring together a group of women who have agreed - with complete anonymity - to confess their stories of walking through a particular issue. Our hope is that through confessing their stories and acknowledging God's great work in their lives, that others would know they are not alone, that they too can find healing and hope and freedom through sharing/confessing their stories. To begin, we have created a survey. The purpose of this survey is two-part: 1) we have a LOT of topics that we are trying to sift through to figure out which ones are most appropriate and most needed, 2) we are interested in the statistics regarding these specific issues. If you are a female of any age, we would LOVE for you to be a part of this survey - just follow this link and answer the questions as honestly as possible. Once you complete the survey, if you are interested in participating in the project further, feel free to contact me.


To those of you who have encouraged me this far, thank you. Please continue to pray that God receives the glory as we seek to help women experience conviction, healing, hope, freedom, grace, and mercy in the TRUTH that "Love, not anger, brought Jesus to the cross...he took in all the violence, all the fear, all the sin of all of the past, all the present, and all the future. This was his highest and most holy work, the work that makes confession and the forgiveness of sins possible." (Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline)