Motherhood.

"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."
-Rachel Jankovic

I'm thankful to be a mom today.

Thankful for the one I have here in my arms, reminding me of the ways God goes before us and answers prayers we don't even know we should be praying, blessing us with things that we are not even sure how to ask for. The Lord has used E to both increase my faith and belief in Him and to sift selfishness and humanity out of me as I strive each day to be all I am called to be as a mom. She is a true joy to me, and a beautiful jewel in the crown of motherhood that I am so fortunate to be called to wear.

Thankful for the one I have kicking about in my belly this morning, reminding me of God's tender and true mercies and of His goodness and graciousness to us as He answers prayers that not only we have prayed for ourselves but that hundreds of others have prayed on our behalf. The journey of faith that I have been on with N has caused my faith in Jesus Christ to increase all the more.

Thankful for the two little ones that are already joined with Christ in heaven today. These two momentary gifts to me have caused me to dig deeply into the cross and find faith in places that I did not even know existed. They have challenged my misconceptions of who Jesus is and what God's purposes are for my life. Through them, God given me eyes and a heart that long for heaven and the fulfillment of the gospel and revelation of Jesus Christ. Through them, I have known the height and depth and breadth of the love of Christ and of His people to me. Because of them, I am convinced even more that my God is who He says He is, and that His desire for me is good and His affections for me are great.

And along the way, I have learned a deep and powerful lesson that none of them are truly "mine" - they all belong to the Lord. I am given a precious gift and mercy to steward them and demonstrate His love to them for as long as He allows, but their lives are all designed and destined to walk in step to His eternal calling and His perfect will.